Sex makes harmony in relationships, love, excitement and is the perfect way to get (underlying) tension in the air. Sometimes you lost each other and then is sex the social glue to fix everything back. Not surprising that we attach all so much value to it, because be honest, it’s also just damn tasty.
The stress to sex
The longer the relationship, the less the urge to carry on together. The reason for this is maybe you or both of you. Either way, the frequency often decreases drastically; sometimes to one or two times a week, at most. This does not mean that your relationship is not good, but maybe an idea to reinvent the sexual wheel together. When the draft occurs it can result in unhealthy tensions that will not do any good in relationships.
So you decide to have a good look on the situation and agree on what need to change; in particular in the frequency. The intentions are good but only works in practice.
Sex is in fact something that must be completely relaxed and free to feel good for both of you, so when you suddenly captures appointments for intimacy, spontaneity it ccan feel as a liability. If you feel you MUST do your girlfriend like homework, is a natural reluctance to comment. The result is yet another late night talk including emotions running high. We can now conclude that the sought sexual tension is fully turned to unhealthy stress.
For some couples this results in stress to sex. Once you go to sleep you think you have the “duty” and at some point you decide to let the silent speak. Soon the emotional barricades and uncertainties will occur. It’s just a matter of counting down to the question: “Don’t you find me attractive anymore?” It will be made by one of our both.
How to prevent this?
Every situation and relationship is different, so there is no specific answer what to do. If you recognize your relationship in the text above, you can determine in each case that you are not the only one with this problem. Fortunately there are for almost every couple things that may help:
Find out for yourself what took the sex drive away.
Perhaps there is an obvious reason to find that can be worked on. Are you always tired? Does it give you any more satisfaction at what she does? Is your relationship perhaps no longer as it was? Or is it purely routine? There may be thousands of reasons. Whatever it is, don’t initially necessarily speak to her. If you can solve the problem yourself, stick to it again and the problem is solved.
Discuss the situation with your intimate friends.
Yes, they will have or had this problem too. Look what helped them and try some things out. In many cases, the solution was not so obvious as initially then thought. For some it might be a holiday with or without each other. For others it was sporting together, or undertake activities to push the team feeling. Don’t push too much pressure on experimentation (including sexual) and see what works.
Rather discuss it right the first than coming back weekly on it.
If you discuss it weekly or not discuss it right, you make the problem bigger and bigger. Discuss the situation extensively instead weekly perils. Cause then the stress to sex will come real to life.
Do not make arrangements for intimacy.
Rather plan or have a day / night in which you’re always together, for example every Sunday. So you make sure you don’t miss each other emotionally and you are guaranteed that you have enough time to enjoy each other. If you’re more time together, the probability of a spontaneous action is bigger in that one hour before you normally go to bed.
No worries, it will be alright if you think in solutions. But first make sure that the pressure is going down and the spontaneous intimacy comes back itself.