Heartbreak warfare, sometimes I wish I was born different.. Doing the right things with less of being impulsive, but the healthy dose of enthusiasm has written great story’s. No I’m not telling I’m happy about the out comes and the character what made and make things happen, I’m complaining the opposite of how addicted I am about the way I roll and communicate. It’s dangerous and very exciting, and It’s a never ending story because of the secure and insecure I give myself all the time, it’s my fuel, I can’t life with it, a never ending hunt at insecure to make it secure again for myself. So I’m MORE than happy about how I am, it never gets boring!! Actually, probably and luckily I think she knows ‘me’ very well and controls me on the right way, cause maybe I was missing or gone for a long time ahead! To be honest, there are enough normal and boring people, but I even think you can’t understand me so she does either sometimes, but she’s the flame and I’m the fire so it goes on and on and on. But anyway it’s still dangerous and I stay impulsive, either it’s positive or negative, that’s why I wish to be different sometimes. It won’t come back on its feet all the time and I’m lucky this story still has no ending even if I;m done with writing.
So after I trowed water in the fire.. you’ll probably know what will happen than, but your thoughts are not right if I may point on the lot of words below here. Prevailing my fiery nature and expectation and instinctive – that can’t be always right – it suppose to be humanly I hope, was it more than needed to came up with apologizes from my side and set some things strait again. The fact that the fire or I should say my love or heartbreak warfare, was not extinguished after trowing that much water in it (I’m such a dick sometimes, and I don’t want to be that, I just want what I want) It needed some new fire or apologizes again. The apologizes came for both sides what I still can’t believe, and we still had a great time the 2 days after it happened (we’re 4 days later writing this) And had it a lot of funn and good times before with the same issues!
I have to thank myself, the wise words from a friend and especially her that we still had that great after I was very impulsive again on a different way. The days after it, after I was that kind of jerk, the days after it was planned by her, her date, her time and I said goodbye to a woman who had planned and took initiative for me!? The heartbreak warfare; We spoke, laughed, kissed, and hated each other with more feelings we ever had, even if the feelings are like;.. grrrhhw@!&… keep reading cause it still has to come. So I really wanted to bring my real apologizes and spend some time on a special place with special woman with a special… ok enough haha. So what happened after, you won’t believe, keep reading..
I was searching for great offers and the ultimate trip in Grindelwald, Switzerland, a big present or rectify action she deserves hardly. It took time and it was difficult to find the best all inclusive wellness hotel and best, biggest, most beautiful & romantic snowboard area. Our joy will be showed in some beautiful pictures below here but what really will happen is something special for us so deal with what I’ll share right now, you’ll just get to know a small part about it/us if I’m sorry;)
After that all I found the perfect spot and arrangements exactly that what I needed in the situation;-, water, sport, alcohol, party, snow, love, wellness, holiday, fire, flames and maybe I also bring my guitar with it! So I putted all the pieces together and it still goes on and on and on! But the special all in one deal with the best snowboard area tickets, hotel, wellness, etc, wasn’t available anymore. Yes you can guess it and you know me… It costed a bit of more money and time, but never forget the hunt and complicated goals I live for. I don’t do it just for her but also for my own needs, love for travel, sport… yes I call it again, “something special” and many more reasons. So I decided to do all the different bookings direct and by myself, so I did it and with success I can say, NOT!
With the temperateness feeling to surprise my honey and joy for love,, maybe I’ll fall in love with snowboarding’;) but anyway, I booked and gutted informed by everything. Even the hotel was booked and that was probably the most important thing.
From now the fire and excitement to read is coming! But after it all was done and I thought the only things left was rejoice, I sent her a big letter back, not 3 sides written on beautiful papers with music instruments and with some deep touched words written in my native tongue language ‘Dutch: she did. No i decided to send some deep touching words to with the big surprise I’ve explained above in just an e-mail. So my thoughts were speaking and I told her; “I have a suprise for you schatzeli;)” I sent the letter with pictures and the trip explained in details without prices…No that what I sent is, was, stays personal, you won’t read that!
She luckily figured out very soon that, that what I had booked was the wrong accommodation in ‘Bern’ and with no possibilities for boarding at all, shit why am I so impulsive all the time!???!!!
“Oooh babe, I’m really speechless, I really want to spend the winter with you there, cause I can’t wait to see you falling on your face again and again! But why in Bern?
Believe me, it started with words on the soul and ended up with sarcasm. She always make me laugh and plays with me like that. But I won’t have to tell you who is gonna see more snow with red cheeks;)
So after a good conversation it ended with my words;
“Sleep well babe, I’ll fix it and do some calls again and I write or tell you later to confirm our trip again!”
So later I wrote exactly this ;
“21 December, same time, same meaning, same hotel nothing changed only it cost me the double amount of money! Thanks that you just want to see me fall and fail on my face, I hate you more than I could love you in my whole live and you need 19 falling stars to change that. About ‘I love you’ you said to me, and building something up or a relationship I said… anyway, I Love You means “i ha dir lieb”, a relationship can be everything but especially trust and fun without being a couple, a relationship can be planning a great time, if you got a bad boy with a good hearth he does it before your appointment at the barber you have the… I forgot it, do you see how important your life is for me?
That means I can really pool your hair hard without ‘getting a bad conscience’ If I am or was in a real love with you.. No I won’t do that to me real lover, but you like to be treated hard and feeeel the strong men right? So you don’t have to give a change to love you and I don’t even want to’ So if I don’t like it, you or the situation anymore in the week from 21 December .. I’ll give you a new haircut. So be awere… Coming back on the relationship again a relationship means love, I hope you love your mother, dad sister and friends, cause if you don”t love them; I can’t hate you or love you anymore, I’ll forget you in 2 seconds and ask Melania to join the trip and see me falling on my face over and over again.. it’s that easy and almost the same pleasure for me:)
To be honest, I never want a relationship with you, how I think about the heartbreak warfare and about what I can lost if we get a relationship or even if we just try it… let me explain it in other words; “If I don’t want to lost what I have, or if i don’t want to lost you, I don’t must take a real relationship with you. Sorry I write like this to you, I told you I can be a legal asshole for 24 hours after my present. But it doesn’t take away that I don’t mean it what I say. But I even won’t say that it’s impossible that you are MINE and i’m yours without heartbreak warfare but….jep I told you before, you need 19 falling stars (we just saw 1 together) and we need hard working and patience “I don’t have patience, and you don’t see 19 falling stars, only if you slept 38 nights at my place cause I see them a lot on my unlit mountain on a clear night. Believe that and noo I don’t want you to come over here;)
http://getaddicted.net/10-reason-why-sleeping-alone-is-much-better-sometimes/ You proof me again and again you’re not looking for love or being a couple, just like I am, maybe that’s why we keep in touch that much. Anyway, after my letter, your letter with “Ik hou van je” only our real feelings can understand it, why should I pay double after your words from yesterday? I still love you 2 babe, on the way I experience it, you also love me on the way you do now. About my words which may reflect your soul, of course we’re building up something, I want more of what we have and had, more fun, more trust and more fights. Heartbreak warfare is the way we are in touch I think. I really hate you and I hope you wake up right know cause of this message, and that it won’t let you sleep for the rest of the night thinking about me, cause I have nothing to fight for anymore, I have you, you’re not claimed by me and that;s not unilateral! My wishes came true, I always said I wanted to be single till 30.
Like you may know me, I go after what I really want.
If you’ll be my model on our great photo’s:;- I will be your never-ending exciting story.
I love you bitch?