If you’re in the dating game you need to know that the goalposts have moved. The good news is that it’s to your advantage…if you know how to play by the new rules.
In sex, just like sports, it pays to play by the rules. But sometimes the rules just aren’t working. In football, officials moved the restraining line from the 30-yard line to the 35, with the intention of increasing touchbacks. And in basketball, officials dumped the no-dunk rule after fans complained that it made play less exciting. Well, now it’s time to dump some obsolete dating rules, too…if you want to win. Play by these new rules and you’ll score again and again.
Women checking men out.
Think your zipper’s undone? It’s not. Women are just busy ogling what’s on offer. “Most women would probably say they don’t stare at men’s bodies in the same way men do women, but they’re mistaken,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First. Using eye-tracking technology, scientists from the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction found that women are actually more likely to have wandering eyes than men. Women not only spent less time looking at a man’s face (when compared with men looking at women); they also moved more quickly onto his other body parts.
Just don’t make the false assumption that you have a get-out-of-jail-free card to start doing the same. “Women like to be admired, not ogled,” says Pam Spurr, author of Steamy Sex: The Sex Doctor’s Guide To Keeping It Hot. “So take in her breasts or legs, but don’t dwell on them.” And make the most of your assets, too. “Wear well-fitting shirts, and don’t be shy about using your jeans to show off whatever nature gave you.”
Online dating made it easy to cast a wide dating net. Trouble is, you’d end up hooking a lot of fish you had no appetite for. Mobile dating apps allow you to see who’s online and in the vicinity, improving your chances of landing a really good catch. It also means every night is “date night.” So the way it used to work—with time to plan what you’d wear, where you’d take her, and so on—has changed.
Be ever ready. Keep a change of clothes at work, along with some deodorizing wipes and mouthwash, because who knows what’s in store. “Sometimes women, like men, drop their standards so they can get what they want sooner,” Kerner says. “So if a gorgeous woman is on the hunt for a date and you can respond quickly, you might strike it lucky with a woman who’s actually way out of your league.”